Monday, October 17, 2005

over

Beatte said something really interesting in her comment to a previous post regarding motivation, or in our cases, lack thereof:

I wonder what it is? I mean, what will it take?

Yep, nail on head, nail on head. I worry about this too. What will it take, Liz? Crazy heart palpatations at night? Back. Slow decent back into depression? Sliding. Clothes that don't fit anymore? Piled in closet. What's next? What else do I need to curb this night-time feeding frenzy? I need to stop. Slow down. Breathe. Turn on a song. Dance my brain out. Cry. Whatever it is. I need to be there, right then, in that moment. Step outside, binge, we need to have a few words.

Another reason that I like this comment is that it emphasizes action over thought. I can think myself right through a bag of chocolate covered pretzels. See previous post. I find complexity. Suggestions. In other words, I am really damn good at finding loop-holes and excuses. Action, Liz, action.

In response to both Mich and Beatte's comment about the quantity of food I had for breakfast: I agree. This is a problem. The problem being that I am usually not hungry in the morning after I binge the night before. Seeing as I've binged almost every night these past couple of weeks, breakfasts have been weak. I'm with you on the slow cooked oatmeal, it's good stuff and it usually powers me through a long morning. So far tonight, no binge, though I did have a large dinner. So maybe tomorrow I can start off with a good breakfast (even if I'm not hungry) and not set myself up for ravenous hunger later in the day? The other dietary issue that sets me up for eating too much at night: I often don't eat lunch. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, eating three meals a day this week would be a great challenge. I'm facing lots of time alone in the library or at my desk, and I normally would not eat until the day was done.

So it's official, my challenge for the week is to eat three meals a day.

***********

Sunday: laced up to go for a run. But couldn't. My shins were really sore, my knees hurt, and I had a lot of food bumping around in my stomach. I did walk about 2 miles.

Monday: spinning. Everybody left class early, so it was just me and the instructor grinding it out at the end. I should say, it was just the instructor grinding it out at the end. I was huffing and puffing my way through the whole class. Lifted arms. My legs need a break so I won't work them till Friday.

1 Comments:

At 10:30 AM, Blogger Beatte said...

What bothers me about trying to break this cycle is that I tell myself, "OK, today I'm not going to eat ANY sugar" and then it just sits there, mocking me. The sugar becomes even MORE tempting, until it becomes something I MUST do to "purge" it from my mind.

So, I've done the opposite, and said "OK, I will let myself have sugar," which just leads to me eating too much.

Argh.

I am beginning to believe that these binges replace something that I am not allowing myself to do. I will probably talk about this more on my own blog, but wanted to say something about it here, because our experiences are so similar that I only gain perspective when coming here and reading your thoughts. Thanks for continuing to share them!

 

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