Friday, January 13, 2006


Really, I should just feed every email that CG and I exchange. She asks such good questions. Yesterday, she asked me why I liked to cook.
My answer:

1. Cooking, for me, is one of the most tangible, practical ways that the whole is more than a sum of its parts. On the one hand, cooking is science. It's precision and measurements and chemistry. That is, cooking has a concreteness and a particularity that I am drawn to and that feels lacking in other parts of my life (hard to believe, I know). On the other hand, cooking is so not about the particular and calls for creativity and zest and spirit. Food takes on energy. And things that I cook taste differently according to my mood and thoughts.

2. I like taking care of people. Cooking is a tangible way to do that.

3. I like doing something else than thinking. Cooking, as aforementioned, calls for feeling and intuition. Specially when one fore goes recipes. Creativity and impulse rule.

4. I like the connection to historical femininity/woman. I love tweaking my grandma's recipes to be vegan and socially and environmentally conscious. This is decidedly postmodern. And a rejection of consumer culture that suggests I should only eat, I don't know, Slimfast, or some other pre-packaged substance that is not really "food." So it's about getting back to basics. But these basics are radically altered, of course.

5. The materiality of it. I like getting my hands in there, scooping out squash seeds and squishing dough through my fingers. It's sensual.

6. It feels subversive. Popular modern discourse suggests that women should distance ourselves from food and eating. I like challenging that.


I've felt out of touch with myself for the past couple of days. I'm sitting next to myself, but I can't quite make the connection. I meditated this morning, which helped, but I'm still feeling a little down and removed. I've been mindlessly eating and am feeling puffy as a result. Why am I doing this at the start of something with this amazing woman? My foot really is getting worse, it definitely hurts this morning. I haven't practiced yoga since Sunday because I don't want to aggravate it anymore than necessary. But the lack of yoga takes its revenge on my mood and sense of self.


Monday: spinning and lifting
Tuesday: running, 6 miles
Wednesday: spinning and lifting
Thursday: running, 7 miles
Friday: spinning, lifting, meditation, and hopefully some yoga


At 5:04 PM, Blogger vj said...

I think the out of touch stuff is because you like her and you're scared. Which is natural. Hang in there!

At 12:17 AM, Blogger Mia Goddess said...

I love this line of talking about cooking. I totally agree with all those ~ I love to cook too ~ but I would add that there is a certain Taoist quality to it. When you're cooking, you're at the mercy of physics; things are what they are and you can't change them. Butter melts in a hot pan, water always boils at the same temperature, yeast just "is" and I love that about cooking. You don't ever have to fight it or worry it. Cooking is acceptance and embracing the physical world in a way I don't normally get to. Plus, you know, I like to eat. :)


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